Chapter 65: Red Lotus Doesn't Eat Raw, I Don't Eat Dead

After searching for a while and finding no one, the "Watermelon Men" returned to the front courtyard.

One of the "Watermelon Men" was injured, with watermelon juice seeping out. Geng Zhiwei quickly instructed his assistants to bandage it.

Jia Quansheng, standing nearby, remarked, "Brother, you're being overly cautious. This thing isn't even alive."

Geng Zhiwei shot a glance at Jia Quansheng. "Do you have any idea how much one of these costs?" he retorted. "If it weren't for you, would I have invested so heavily?"

"Of course, of course," Jia Quansheng said, his face breaking into an ingratiating smile. "It's all for me."

Despite his words, Jia Quansheng was displeased. It sounded as if Geng Zhiwei had taken a loss, but Geng Zhiwei had received all ten of Qin Xiaopang's Snake-Spotted Pills, and Yu Nan's Yu family textile shop had ultimately fallen into his hands too!

Ultimately, he had only sacrificed one Rong Jin'an and then spent money to buy over twenty watermelons. Jia Quansheng had met the cultivator Geng; a "Watermelon Man" only sold for just over twenty thousand yuan. Geng Zhiwei had acquired a textile shop in exchange; where was the loss for him?

Besides, these "Watermelon Men" could be used for a year, and if injured, a bit of water would heal them. At such a low price, buying something so useful, how on earth could Geng Zhiwei be at a disadvantage? Naturally, these were all unspoken thoughts that Jia Quansheng would never dare to voice.

The "Watermelon Men" couldn't speak, so their injuries indicated an ambush. Geng Zhiwei personally led his men to inspect the backyard. Finding no one, he simply ordered them to set the old Yu family residence ablaze. Amidst the roaring flames, the residence was quickly reduced to ashes.

Geng Zhiwei told Jia Quansheng, "Tomorrow, post a public notice in Ligou stating that Yu Nan is forbidden from appearing in Yaowanggou ever again. Anyone who sees her and conceals her whereabouts without reporting it will become my enemy, Geng Zhiwei's enemy!"

Geng Zhiwei then yelled, "Let's go!" A group of subordinates followed Geng Zhiwei, and the "Watermelon Men" fell into formation behind them.

Inside his portable residence, Li Banfeng quietly stroked the phonograph and softly asked, "My dear wife, how many cultivation layers would a cultivator need to create 'Watermelon Men' like these? I don't want to fight him; I want to befriend him. Perhaps I could buy some good things back another day. Wife, what do you think about 'Cucumber Men'? The thorny kind! Wife, please say something to me. I'll be staying home for quite a while today, and your silence is stifling me."

*Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!*

The phonograph spoke.

*Clang! Bang! Clang!*

The gongs and drums began to play. The phonograph was playing a piece of traditional opera.

"Su San! Having left Hongdong County, I present myself before the main street,Though I heard Luoyang's flowers are like brocade, this servant arrived only to meet the bitter frost and snow!"

It was a familiar aria, "Su San's Interrogation" from *Yu Tang Chun*. The phonograph sang with deep emotion. After only two lines, its voice trembled, as if it were weeping. No, it was definitely crying. From the phonograph's horn, amidst puffs of steam, tiny droplets of water flowed down, rolling like tears.

Li Banfeng was not a stoic man; he was a gentle and compassionate fellow. Seeing the phonograph weep so sadly, Li Banfeng quickly stepped forward to comfort it. "Wife, why are you crying?"

*Hiss! Hiss!*

The phonograph gave a sniffle, then recited a passage: "My husband has not brought rice or grain home for many days, and this servant's hunger is unbearable~ ah~ ah~ ah~"

The vocalization was drawn out for a very long time.

"Why don't you just say you're hungry?" Li Banfeng asked, quite displeased. "I fed you so much at the old lady's house, and just two days ago, you ate a fresh Rong Jin'an. And now you're hungry again?"

*Clang-a-lang-lang~~*

The phonograph changed its tune and continued to sing: "A poor couple's life is fraught with sorrow. I know my husband toils tirelessly outside, sometimes hungry, sometimes full. How dare this servant utter a single word of complaint, oh dear~~~"

At this point, the phonograph began to weep again.

Li Banfeng sighed, "She must have eaten too much last time, and it stretched her stomach."

The phonograph cried pitifully, and its spoken passage became even more shrill: "This servant has never complained about hardship, how can my husband mock me, oh dear~~~"

"Stop crying!" Li Banfeng's mood was souring. Logically, living under the same roof, it was only right to provide his wife with good food. Li Banfeng wasn't short on money. While he couldn't promise daily delicacies, it was certainly unacceptable for her to go hungry one meal and be full the next.

But his wife's diet was… unusual! Such precious ingredients were hard to come by.

"Wife, I'll catch a Watermelon Man for you to eat in a moment, how does that sound?" Li Banfeng asked, pulling out the remaining watermelon pulp.

*Hiss!*

The phonograph let out a disdainful huff. "That's merely a watermelon cultivated by a practitioner; it lacks any spiritual essence. How can this servant possibly eat such a thing~~"

His wife didn't like watermelons.

"Then I'll bring back some corpses for you to eat."

*Hiss hiss~*

"This humble servant does not eat corpses!"

Li Banfeng frowned. "Why are you being so picky? Lotus eats them with such relish."

"Husband, do not speak of that hussy Honglian!"

Honglian? Was it referring to the Copper Lotus? The phonograph continued its recitation: "My husband pampers that hussy, giving her all the fine food and drink~~ while caring not if this servant lives or dies~ ah~ ah~"

Her words were unreasonable. Li Banfeng defended himself, "Wife, the corpses are right there. If you want to eat, you can eat them too!"

*Poof~*

The horn spouted a large cloud of steam, as if spitting.

"How can this servant possibly swallow such filthy things? Red Lotus doesn't eat living things, and this servant doesn't eat dead things!"

Li Banfeng grew angry. "You woman, you are impossible to please!"

"My husband doesn't cherish this servant, he doesn't cherish me~~~"

*Whoosh~*

A large blast of steam enveloped him, leaving Li Banfeng's skin red from the heat. Li Banfeng fell silent, and the phonograph offered no further sound.

"Red Lotus doesn't eat living things" meant that Red Lotus consumed corpses, medicinal herbs, and even special weapons. "The phonograph doesn't eat dead things" meant that she didn't consume inanimate objects; she ate wronged souls. Wronged souls, however, were not easily obtained. Li Banfeng did come up with an idea, but it involved considerable risk.

***

Geng Zhiwei returned to the apothecary and cleared out a well-lit room specifically for the "Watermelon Men." The room held over twenty water buckets, one for each "Watermelon Man." They stood stiffly with their feet in the buckets; a full day and night standing like this would restore their energy, enabling them to fight again the next day. Throughout the day, the "Watermelon Men" soaked up the sun, and all their wounds healed completely. In the evening, the apothecary's assistants arrived to add water to the "Watermelon Men."

At 1 AM, one of the "Watermelon Men" swelled up, then burst open with a sharp crack. Li Banfeng, clutching the key, stood up from the basin filled with watermelon pulp. His portable residence moved with the key, and the key moved with the "Watermelon Man." Li Banfeng emerged from inside the "Watermelon Man"; he was now within the Geng family apothecary.

The ruptured "Watermelon Man" lay still, and the other "Watermelon Men" remained silent. They had not been fed fertilizer and thus had no combat capability. As Li Banfeng heartily ate the watermelon pulp, they showed no hostility towards him. After eating the watermelon pulp and drenched in sweat, Li Banfeng surveyed the watermelon room and quickly squatted down. The room had several glass windows, providing excellent natural light, and one could clearly see the courtyard outside from within.

Outside the room, two guards stood watch at the door. These two were Geng Zhiwei's trusted subordinates, specifically assigned to guard the "Watermelon Men" due to their significant importance. Having just heard the "Watermelon Man" burst, the two were peering inside. Fortunately, the "Watermelon Man" that burst was in a corner, out of sight from the windows.

One whispered, "You stay here and watch, I'll go inside and check."

The other shook his head. "Why bother looking? These things are creepy."

"When on earth do you ever get scared? Last month, when the Young Master sent you to collect debts, you killed all the men in a family of over a dozen people and violated all the women. Even ghosts tremble at your sight. What's so scary about a few watermelons?"

"How can that be the same? These are sentient watermelons! You saw them fight during the day; these things are profoundly sinister!"

"These watermelons were bought by the Young Master at a high price. If anything goes wrong, we won't be able to bear the responsibility. How about we both go in and check?"

"You really are something else..."

The two guards unlocked the door and cautiously entered the room. They saw that one "Watermelon Man" had burst, scattering watermelon pulp all over the floor. Both were startled. One asked, "What happened?"

The other guard turned to check the remaining "Watermelon Men" and found one standing neatly in each basin; none were missing. If no "Watermelon Men" were missing, then what explained the shattered one? Was there an extra one? How could that be possible...

The man's hair stood on end. He re-examined the "Watermelon Men" and realized something was amiss. In reality, one "Watermelon Man" was missing. Li Banfeng, poker-faced, was standing stiffly in a basin, impersonating one of them. Dwelling cultivators possess the characteristic of being easily overlooked, which was why the two guards didn't notice anything unusual at first glance.

One guard walked closer to Li Banfeng, his eyes wide, and stammered, "This isn't..."

*Thwip~*

Li Banfeng swung his sickle and slit his throat.

The other guard was still examining the shattered watermelon on the floor. Hearing a sound behind him, he started to turn, only to find a sickle pressed against his neck.

"Don't make a sound. I'm a good person," Li Banfeng whispered in his ear.

The man dared not make a sound. Li Banfeng asked again, "I'm going to ask you something. Tell me the truth, and I'll let you go. Where are all the valuable medicines in your apothecary stored?"

"They're all in the medicine vault, which is the east wing of the front courtyard," the man answered truthfully.

"What good medicines are there?"

"Are you asking about raw medicinal ingredients or elixirs? I don't recognize all the ingredients, but I do know a few elixirs."

"Then tell me about the elixirs."

"There are dozens of Snake-Spotted Pills; I don't know the exact count."

Li Banfeng didn't believe him. "Such a large Geng family apothecary only has Snake-Spotted Pills? I'm a good person, don't lie to me."

"The valuable medicines aren't on display; they're all in the master's residence." The man wasn't lying. Apothecaries typically don't keep overly expensive elixirs on hand. To purchase them, one usually had to arrange a time in advance for the seller to retrieve the goods.

Li Banfeng then asked, "Where is all the money in the apothecary?"

"There's some in the front counter, but larger sums are in the Young Master's room in the backyard."

"Where does your Young Master live?"

"In the backyard, he sleeps in the Third Mistress's room."

"Are there guards in the backyard?"

"Yes, usually ten."

"Do they have cultivation?"

"Yes, the head guard, Song Boming, is a second-layer body cultivator, and he has two first-layer martial cultivators under him."

This presented a challenge. One second-layer, two first-layer, and seven other henchmen—Li Banfeng couldn't handle that alone.

"Where are the other guards?" Li Banfeng recalled that Geng Zhiwei had over thirty guards under his command.

"Everyone else is asleep in this courtyard, brave sir. I've told you nothing but the truth. You promised to let me go; please spare my life, and I guarantee I won't alert anyone." The guard was in tears.

"Very well, I'll let you go," Li Banfeng said with a smile. "You didn't spare a family of over a dozen people. I heard everything you said just now."

The guard, weeping, pleaded, "Brave sir, these were our Young Master's orders. We do whatever he tells us. Please don't listen to that scoundrel's nonsense; his methods are even more brutal than mine, and he's killed more people than I have!"

"More than you, you say," Li Banfeng mused, glancing at the corpse on the floor. "I see you two have a deep bond. I'll send you to join him."

"Mercy..." The guard tried to scream, but no sound escaped his lips.

Li Banfeng gently flicked his blade, slitting the guard's throat.