Chapter 259: Dong Pangzi

A hundred cavalry charged the city, their iron armor glinting menacingly. The leading fat general weighed at least two hundred pounds, but he didn't appear cumbersome at all. He was robust, with skin like charcoal, and rode a large, black, heavy horse. Behind him, the iron cavalry galloped in a straight line, like a single unit. Strangely, beside the fat general rode a delicate woman, matching his pace. She was vibrant and elegant, with colorful robes and flowing sleeves, like a celestial being. The young woman wore a serene, sky-blue sleeved dress over a vibrant, soft goose-yellow undergarment, presenting a look that was both refined and grand. A vintage sword with a peacock-green scabbard hung from her waist. Even galloping alongside these elite iron cavalry, the premier vanguard of the Northern Nomadic Southern Dynasty army, she showed not a hint of being a mere ornament, which only further highlighted the extraordinary might of the fat general's personal guard cavalry.

The Northern Nomadic Dynasty had a vast territory, but since the Liyang Dynasty unified the Spring and Autumn period, out of six massive wars launched with the full might of the nation, only one involved the central line where Longyao Province was located. The main battlefields were primarily the eastern front in Liaoyang and the fiercely contested western front, encompassing Guse Province of Northern Nomadic and Liang Province of Liyang. A hundred steps from Feihu City, the fat man slowed his horse, glanced up at the Sword-Hanging Pavilion. Covered in dust, he spat a thick glob of phlegm with a "pah" and muttered under his breath. Behind him, the hundred iron cavalry moved as one, their actions identical, the distance between their horses' tails remaining unchanged despite the reduced speed.

The fat man's surname was Dong. His father was a scholar-official, a survivor of the Spring and Autumn period, and his mother was a woman from a humble family in the Northern Nomadic lands. After more than a decade in the military, when Dong the Fat Man had transformed his two hundred pounds of fat into pure muscle, he had also risen from an unknown grunt to become the most prominent military figure in the Northern Nomadic Southern Dynasty. He was even on equal footing with the Governors of Guse Province, the three Grand Generals, and other powerful Southern Dynasty officials. According to Northern Nomadic law, even if Southern Dynasty officials held the same rank as those in the Northern Royal Court, their actual grade would be lowered by one level. Only Southern Dynasty nobles specially honored by the Northern Nomadic Empress could incrementally increase their grade by half a level. This "dead fat man" on horseback was the only hotshot in the Northern Nomadic Dynasty to have received three special merits, making him an exceptionally powerful figure. Consequently, though he was officially a fourth-rank general, his military authority reached that of a second-rank official. The three Grand Generals of the Western Front—Huang Songpu, Liu Gui, and Yang Yuanzan—along with the two Governors of Guse and Jinxi, all second-rank border officials who could make the frontier tremble with a sneeze, had all been verbally abused by this two-hundred-pound fat man. He had even famously slammed the table with Huang Songpu, who had been exceptionally honored by the Empress as the King of the Southern Court, and it was rumored that he had once agreed to a location to roll up his sleeves and fight with Yang Yuanzan. The fact that this "dead fat man" was still alive today was, by all accounts, a miracle.

The "dead fat man" gritted his teeth, his face a picture of fury. "How does Murong Baoding, that old turtle, manage his clan's brats? I clearly sent a secret letter, yet Murong Zhangtai still dared to take private soldiers to plunder my brother's wife and my niece! Do you really think being ninth on the martial arts ranking makes you invincible, you motherf**ker? Never mind the bloody case of my sister-in-law, if even a tiny thing goes wrong with my niece, whom I treat as my own daughter, I'll go all out against you, Murong Baoding, for the rest of my life! If your Murong Baoding clan's descendants ever come to Guse Province again to seize military merits, I guarantee I'll beat them so badly they won't even recognize their own parents when they crawl home!"

As they rode, nearing Feihu City, several groups of scouts were already circling and probing half a li away. Dong the Fat Man completely ignored them. Given the horsemanship and combat power of those fellows, any one of his own cavalry could easily shoot them off their horses. When it came to the scouting unit's (Malanzi) killing ability, only Chen Zhibao's trained White Horse Roaming Crossbowmen could compare with his Raven Scouts; after years of genuine life-or-death struggles, their win-loss ratio was fifty-fifty.

Dong the Fat Man grinned, making him look even more sinister. He knew he wasn't a suave or kind-faced person. Before joining the army, neighborhood children would cry at the sight of him. Apart from getting along with men of similar spirit, he had never really been liked by many women or children in his life. So, when he did encounter such people, Dong the Fat Man cherished them especially. He had only two women, and both became his wives. While outsiders might talk about "first wife" and "second wife," Dong the Fat Man treated them equally; he didn't favor one more than the other. Whoever became a formally married daughter-in-law of the Dong family first was the elder wife, and whoever entered the household later was the younger wife. That's simply the order of things, and there's no need to reason about it, as he wasn't a fan of reasoning anyway.

"This one beside me," he thought, "is the apple of that old scoundrel's eye from Tibing Mountain, and didn't I snatch her home just the same? That old geezer constantly complains that my martial arts are pathetic. What the f**k do you know about military strategy? A martial artist's peak might be a match for a thousand men, but I'm a match for ten thousand! I've long found you old man annoying. Don't go spouting nonsense just because you're my father-in-law and a grandmaster of martial arts, spitting all over my face—how many times has that happened? I'm just respecting my elders and loving the young, so I don't bother to argue with you. At most, I'll just pat your butt, turn around, and go 'deal with' your daughter late at night. That's called 'one thing curbs another'."

The woman beside Dong the Fat Man, seeing his all-too-familiar smiling face, said helplessly, "Husband, up to your old tricks again? Who's the victim this time?"

The "dead fat man" chuckled evasively, "Your husband has always conquered people with virtue and always been kind to others."

The gentle woman, whose wide sleeves fluttered like those of a celestial being, frowned. "Do you really like Tao Manwu that much? You probably wouldn't be this anxious about the children I have with that person, would you?"

Dong the Fat Man chuckled. "That's an outsider's talk. Tao Manwu is the only child your husband has ever genuinely liked in his life, and he's also the sole descendant of my elder brother. What's wrong with caring for him a little more? It's one thing for you and Princess Dayong not to get along—women being jealous is only natural. But for you to be blindly jealous of a child, that's not good. If we were alone, your husband would have to administer some family discipline and spank you."

The woman, whose father was the Lord of Tibing Mountain, initially wanted to scoff, showing her slight displeasure. However, seeing him travel day and night without rest, only snatching a quick nap when utterly exhausted, his face so covered in dust that wiping it with a wet cloth would remove layers of grime, and his lips already cracked and bleeding, all for the sake of finding his young niece who disappeared at the Duck Head Green Inn—he had nearly exhausted all his connections, relying on every scrap of information gathered, desperately tracking every clue. This was the first time she had seen him so single-mindedly and ruthlessly mobilize everything for something other than war or kidnapping wives. Seeing his face, now much thinner and hollowed, her heart softened, and she couldn't bear to retort with sharp words.

She changed the subject. Noticing the brightly armored soldiers outside the city gate, she narrowed her eyes and softly asked, "Isn't Tantai Changping your good brother privately? Why is he blocking you?"

The "dead fat man" yawned. He was so skilled at setting traps for border generals and leaving them unburied that it would take those fellows several years to realize what happened, by which time they wouldn't even have the heart to curse this treacherous "dead fat man" anymore. However, he was always honest with his own wife, explaining, "If Changping were an official in the Southern Dynasty, it would be good for him to be close to me. But now that he's a Bell-Bearer in the Royal Court, if we still exchange glances, even if His Majesty the Emperor doesn't mind, the Yelü and Murong clans might gossip like women. It wouldn't be a good thing in the end. So, I might as well put on a 'self-harm' show—it won't fool old foxes, but it'll trick many fools. At least everyone saves face, and it lets the North know that Feihu City has a young man who dares to challenge Dong the Fat Man. This Bell-Bearer position will then be a sure thing for him. You, oh, you're spoiled by your father, you don't like to think. You're much dumber than her, my dear. Don't glare at me; I know those eyes of yours are beautiful. I was captivated by just one look from you, lost my soul. Besides, there's a good side to being dumb, isn't there? If everyone were as smart as her, your husband would be tired. It's better to be a bit dumb. For example—and I'm saying this is a big example beforehand, okay?—if your husband and his brothers went to a brothel for a drink and came home, she'd smell the alcohol and perfume and make him kneel on a washboard. You, on the other hand, would happily take the rouge your husband casually bought you. Which one do you think I'd prefer?"

The woman smiled sweetly, a hint of deadly intent in her eyes.

The "dead fat man" slapped his own mouth. And so, the grand show he had planned, where he would spar with Tantai Changping for dozens of rounds, turned into the future Bell-Bearer, likened to a fresh flower stuck in cow dung, being knocked off his horse with a single sword stroke.

As Dong the Fat Man entered the city, he sighed, "My apologies, Brother Changping. It's all your little sister-in-law's fault; she's not in a good mood right now."

The woman beside him, whose sword was like a dragon, showed no change in expression. She softly asked, "Husband, how will you find your niece now?"

The "dead fat man" stepped out of the city gate's shadow, shielding his eyes from the sun with a hand. He said calmly, "Seal the city. Then, we'll dig three feet deep. I won't leave until she's found."

The woman asked worriedly, "Husband, aren't you afraid of drawing criticism?"

Dong the Fat Man curled his lip and sneered, "If anyone's unhappy, they can come and debate with me. I'll slowly explain things to them. If they can't be reasoned with, I'll just crush them with my iron cavalry."

Two of his close guards, riding nearby, exchanged knowing smiles upon hearing their general's words. "That's right," they thought. "Our General Dong has no education, yet he insists on pretending to be refined and lecturing people. Most of the time, he just gets red-faced in an argument and then starts cursing loudly. If that's not enough, he'll resort to physical force. Southern Dynasty officials despise this shameless bastard. Especially during the Spring Festival, General Dong, whose brush strokes look like wriggling worms, would insist on showing off his 'talent,' going door to door, shamelessly demanding that all Southern Dynasty mansions display his written Spring Couplets. They were utter nonsense, a disgrace! I remember once, a Censor and an Inspector, neighbors on the street, played a trick. One claimed the wind blew off the poorly glued couplet, and the other said firecrackers damaged theirs. The next day, the 'dead fat man' showed up again, cheerfully carrying two new couplets, which he personally pasted with rice porridge onto the gates of the two powerful military officials, grinning as he declared that this time, neither wind nor firecrackers would ruin them. In the vast Western Capital, where nobles were as numerous as dogs, only Grand General Huang Songpu dared to directly bar this 'dead fat man' from his gate. His gatekeeper even pointed to a stone tablet outside, clearly stating: 'Dong Zhuo is not permitted within fifty paces of this residence.' In the Northern Nomadic Southern Dynasty, perhaps besides the border soldiers, only Grand General Liu Gui was considered the sole close associate of this repugnant 'dead fat man.' However, when Grand General Liu intended to marry his granddaughter to him two years ago, the fat man used 'having a fierce wife at home' as an excuse. Then, just a few days later, he married the only daughter of the Lord of Tibing Mountain. It's said that this infuriated old General Liu Gui, making his hair stand on end, and he almost donned his armor to go slay this scheming fat man."

The woman softly asked, "If you knew this would happen, why didn't you personally escort your sister-in-law and niece to Liuxia City back then?"

Dong the Fat Man said grimly, "That sister-in-law doesn't seem like the type to remain a widow for Brother Tao. I've never been close to her, so why should I see her? Brother Tao had barely died when she wrote to me, asking for an official title and a place on the roster for her son. I'm a man with a strange temper: if you ask for it, I deliberately won't give it; if you don't ask, I don't mind paving the way for you. Brother Tao only had one son. If she raised him, he would sooner or later become a good-for-nothing playboy, worthless. In my opinion, he should be thrown into my army. If he could survive and become a Raven Scout, as long as your Uncle Dong Zhuo has wealth and power for a day, your splendid future would be guaranteed. But would that woman be willing? Wouldn't she die of worry and stab me in the back? And that nephew's temperament isn't like Brother Tao's; it's like his mother's. That's why I only like Little Manwu. I, Dong Zhuo, have sworn that unless I become a first-rate general or minister in Northern Nomadic, I will never visit old squad leader Wu."

Dong the Fat Man snorted coldly, "Once I find Manwu, I will ensure that my little girl lives more freely than any princess or county princess. Anyone who dares bully her is tired of living!"

The woman gently rubbed the dark strands of hair at her temples and softly asked, "According to the reports, it was a young man with a saber, traveling through Longyao Province, who took Little Manwu. When you meet him, how will you deal with him?"

Dong the Fat Man's expression softened slightly, and he chuckled, "I don't care who he is or what his status is. As long as he hasn't wronged Little Manwu, and as long as he dares to make a big request, I'll dare to give him the reward."

The woman from Tibing Mountain smiled, "That's what I like about my husband."

The "dead fat man" laughed heartily, "My dear, I like many things about you."

The woman, born to live at the pinnacle of the martial world and view the scenery from there, naturally regarded the world with a cold gaze. Yet, only for this fated bane of her existence, this "dead fat man," did she cast a flirtatious glance that only genuine affection could evoke.

The "dead fat man" squinted, looking into the city. He disliked Feihu City; it was too effeminate, and just looking at it annoyed him.

The iron cavalry entered the city, but instead of riding directly to the City Governor's residence, they symbolically circled the city. As they passed a tavern in the northeast corner, the woman suddenly turned her head and looked at an upstairs window.

The "dead fat man" asked, puzzled, "What is it?"

The woman thought for a moment, then shook her head.

The fat man merely assumed it was some scoundrel lusting after his wife and paid it no mind. Normally, he would have given them a good beating, but he truly wasn't in the mood right now. He had only brought a hundred cavalry, so he couldn't possibly search the entire city like a headless fly. Ultimately, he would have to rely on the local government for manpower and resources.

Dong Zhuo let out a long breath and softly said, "Little Manwu, wait just a little longer for Uncle Dong."