Chapter 986: Unbearable

The night was deep. In the upper left corner of the study, a porcelain oil lamp glowed. It mimicked the stacked porcelain lamp style of old Western Shu; its design, which incorporated a hidden opening for water, made it exceptionally fuel-efficient.

The young man sat alone behind the desk, perusing a secret letter whose contents he already knew well.

He had visited the prosperous Jiangnan Road, where the homes of the wealthy, adorned with tall candelabras that illuminated pearls and jade, subtly displayed the peace and prosperity of the age. He had also been to Tai'an City, the capital, known as the finest city in the world. During every festival there, lotus lanterns were placed on every tile ridge throughout the city's neighborhoods, their lights stretching endlessly, the candlelight flickering and glowing like a vast army marching at night—a truly magnificent sight. He had also witnessed the scattered specks of light in small towns after dusk, the faint glimmer of distant lamps. Passing through villages, large and small, time and again, even catching sight of a single, tiny light was always an unexpected pleasure.

He set the letter down, rose, walked around the desk, and went to the window, gently pushing it open. The letter was not a critical military report; rather, it was a private, confidential message that Li Yanchao had submitted to Jubei City. It had bypassed Jubei City's military office and had been sent directly to the young Prince's study.

The first deputy commander of the Right Cavalry wrote with a heavy hand; the ink bled through the paper.

Li Yanchao did not waste words; his message consisted of just two simple sentences: “Lu Dayuan should not have died! No one in Beiliang should ever consider the annihilation of the Left Cavalry as a disgrace to the border army!”

In truth, Li Yanchao didn't need to write this letter. Xu Fengnian knew Lu Dayuan's military tactics and character far better than Li Yanchao did. How could a general, whom Xu Xiao continued to mention repeatedly in the Qingliang Mountain council hall even in his old age, be an ordinary person? Xu Xiao started from scratch with eight hundred old veterans in Liaodong, spending forty years campaigning, eventually commanding three hundred thousand Beiliang iron cavalry. Many generals had served under him, countless died on battlefields, and a fair number survived. Lu Dayuan, a true-blooded cavalry general of the Full Armor Battalion, was known to almost all the elder generation of direct lineage generals in the Xu family. From Yan Wenluan and Chen Yunchui to Zhou Kang and Yuan Nanting, and then to Liu Jinu and Li Mofan, all had expressed considerable regret over Lu Dayuan's sudden departure from the Beiliang border army. That regret was no less profound than the sorrow felt over the departure of the two meritorious generals, Wu Qi and Xu Pu, in years past.

Before Lu Dayuan left the Prince's residence for the battlefield, he privately visited Xu Fengnian in his study for a heartfelt conversation. After all, taking on the role of an army commander again, Lu Dayuan was not as relaxed and casual as he appeared. On the contrary, having grown up alongside the Xu family's Iron Cavalry, Lu Dayuan was far more familiar with arduous battles and tough fights than the new generation of young, strong generals like Li Yanchao and Ning Emei, who had risen outside Liangzhou Pass, and who were accustomed to the saying, ‘Beiliang Iron Cavalry is unmatched under heaven.’ One could even say that the bitter suffering of those earlier years was etched into his very bones. Therefore, Lu Dayuan had to lay all his cards on the table in front of the young Prince, to put Xu Fengnian's mind at ease and his own.

During that face-to-face, intimate conversation, Lu Dayuan believed that the two cavalry armies, totaling over sixty thousand riders, would absolutely not be able to maneuver safely in the increasingly constricted gap outside the Pass. The only way they could gain true breathing room would be if the Left Cavalry retreated to the north of Qingyuan military town, and the Right Cavalry headed straight for the east of Chongzhong military town, thereby completely stretching out the front lines in the northeast and southwest.

“But if that happened, even if the sixty thousand cavalry managed to survive precariously, what about Jubei City? Although the Left and Right Cavalry could still tie down a certain number of Northern Barbarian cavalry, frankly, those Northern Barbarians wouldn't even need to deploy their main forces; they could just throw two low-tier cavalry units, as long as they had enough numbers, at us, and then we'd just have to sit on our horses and watch the show? I, Lu Dayuan, am a rough man. I learned how to lead troops in battle little by little from the Great General back in the day. I did consult with people like Xu Pu, Wu Qi, Yuan Zuozong, and Chen Zhibao, but I always felt that in the end, it was neither here nor there, not as effective as my own original methods. Ultimately, I settled on one principle: once cavalry enters the battlefield, they must decisively eliminate the enemy's most elite field forces. We must never lose sight of the big picture for the sake of preserving strength, otherwise, in a grueling war with disparate forces, the longer the fight drags on, the harder it becomes, leading to inexplicable and unwilling defeats. Difficult battles must be fought by someone; otherwise, if everyone retreats again and again, we'll truly just be waiting for death, no different from those old foxes and wolf cubs in the Liyang Ministry of War back in the day!”

Xu Fengnian stood at the window; the autumn air filled the room, and the lone lamp felt cold. After opening the window, the chill deepened.

Xu Fengnian turned around. That man, back then, had been sitting in the chair in front of the desk, ordinary in appearance. If he hadn't been in this study but standing in the fields inside the Pass, he would likely have been mistaken for a farmer, toiling under the sun.

“My Lord,” he had said, “after I and the Right Cavalry deploy simultaneously, I will, one day after our forces are sufficiently spread out, be the first to accelerate northwards to draw Murong Baoding's main forces. If nothing unexpected happens, Murong Baoding will undoubtedly move upon hearing the news, requesting reinforcements from Wang Yong, the Commissioner of Baoping Prefecture. He might even temporarily deploy the Rouran Iron Cavalry to support the Winter Thunder Private Cavalry. Please rest assured, My Lord, even if my Left Cavalry is heavily besieged, we will still eliminate at least forty-five thousand of the enemy's elite cavalry!”

“My Lord, I must ask a favor of you. Please convey my apologies to Old Marshal He. Tens of thousands of border soldiers were entrusted to my command, yet I could only lead them to their deaths. My conscience is troubled, but I had no choice but to do this. Lu Dayuan will be waiting for the Old Marshal down in the earth, ready to accept any beating or scolding! However, it would be best if he let me wait another ten or eight years, haha, by then the Old Marshal probably won't have the strength to beat anyone, a few symbolic gestures, and then I'll be ready for reincarnation.”

After rising, the man looked at the young Prince, who had also stood up, and said in a deep voice: “If it is proven in the future that I, Lu Dayuan, was wrong, then no one needs to bring wine to my grave; I doubt I could drink that wine of shame anyway... That is, if I even have a grave.”

The two walked together towards the study door. Lu Dayuan suddenly asked, “My Lord, do you think anyone will remember us decades from now? Remember the battles that happened here?”

Xu Fengnian shook his head then, saying, “Not necessarily.”

“Damn it all... Haha, My Lord, forgive me, I'm just a crude man; fine words don't come from my mouth.”

“It's alright,” Xu Fengnian replied. “Xu Xiao was the same; I'm used to it by now.”

Everything was vivid in his memory, and those words seemed to still echo in his ears, lingering long after.

Xu Fengnian pressed his hands on the window, leaning forward. Lu Dayuan, who had gone to the battlefield with a resolve to die, had left no final words. If he had, they would have been too familiar, words the young Prince had often heard in his youth, only with a different name.

Xu Fengnian slowly turned his head, looking towards the study door.

That man, Lu Dayuan, had at that moment clasped his fists and declared: “Your humble general, Lu Dayuan! Formerly a cavalry commander of the Full Armor Battalion, now Deputy Commander of the Left Cavalry! I request to join the battle, Great General!”

Xu Fengnian's lips had moved slightly then; those two words reached his mouth but never left it.

Granted!

Xu Fengnian slammed his hands down, pressing hard, and the bricks and stones of the window ledge beneath his fingers instantly shattered.

Xu Fengnian took a deep breath and waved his hand towards the shadowy area outside the window, signaling to the Fushui House operatives there to pay him no mind.

He walked back to the desk and pulled a sheet of paper from a yellowed military book.

The paper contained the casual words of a man who was far away, participating in the construction of Jubei City outside the Pass, addressed to his wife and children who had already left their hometown in Lingzhou. The family letter said that after autumn arrived there, it wasn't too cold yet, the layered-sole cloth shoes he had sewn were enough and weren't wearing out quickly, and the clothes he had brought to Jubei City were warm enough. He had also met two fellow villagers from Longqing County, Lingzhou, and when they had free time, they would go to the small town outside the city for a drink or two, where prices were cheaper than inside the Pass. He had heard that they had won battles in Liuzhou, and Jubei City's walls were very high, so the Northern Barbarians certainly wouldn't be able to break through within a year or two. He told her and their two sons to rest easy; as long as she kept receiving his wages every month, it meant that things were peaceful outside the Pass and there was no fighting. Finally, the man told his wife not to worry about money or feel bad about spending it, as the children's education was the most important thing.

The family letter was sent to a certain place in the Central Plains, the man's ancestral home.

This sheet of paper was merely a copy; the actual family letter had naturally already been sent.

After the man arrived outside the Pass, being illiterate, he couldn't write letters himself. He found an unknown, impoverished scholar in the market to write them for him.

Under the dim lamplight, Xu Fengnian lowered his head, gazing at the thin sheet of paper spread out on the desk.

This last family letter had been sent out just after Lu Dayuan departed Jubei City.

On the very first day Lu Dayuan rejoined the border army, Beiliang's Fushui House had already thoroughly investigated his circumstances during his decade-plus stay in the small town of Longqing County, Lingzhou. Reports were sent continuously to the Prince's residence in Jubei City, then compiled and placed on the desk in this study. Subsequently, every single action Lu Dayuan took, whether in Jubei City or with the Left Cavalry, was meticulously recorded and archived by Fushui House spies. Xu Fengnian did not obstruct this; it was precisely through these seemingly impersonal and shadowy rules that Beiliang saved many lives on the battlefield. However, regarding Lu Dayuan's request for someone to write his family letters, Xu Fengnian specifically visited the Department of Punishment and instructed the Fushui House head responsible for such matters not to interfere.

This particular letter, however, made Xu Fengnian change his mind. He had Fushui House spies intercept the family letter, but unfortunately, the elderly scholar who had been writing letters for others had already left the border pass with the departing groups. If he truly wanted to find him, with the Fushui House's power outside the Pass, he certainly could have. But Xu Fengnian reconsidered and decided against it, figuring that since he had the letter's handwriting, it wouldn't be difficult for him, given his calligraphy skills and mastery, to forge a letter each month.

But at this very moment, Xu Fengnian regretted it once more.

For he found that he couldn't bring himself to pick up the brush at all, and even when he did try, time and again, he put it down, unsure how to write the contents of the next month's family letter.

Xu Fengnian stood up, left the study, and went into the courtyard.

Still unable to fully calm his mind, Xu Fengnian shot up into the air, soaring across to the horse path on the south wall of Jubei City, and with a light leap, sat cross-legged atop the wall.

From a distance on the horse path, the clatter of armored guards soon resounded. When these armored soldiers realized it was the young Prince himself on the city wall, they quickly and silently withdrew. Though there was no whispering, each saw the fervent admiration in the other's eyes.

Xu Fengnian clenched his fists, resting them on his legs, and sat facing south, gazing at the distant night sky.

He sat there motionlessly through the night.

Before dawn, he quietly returned to the Prince's residence. Shortly after he sat down in his study, a supervisor from the Department of Punishment's intelligence unit came to report that the three Southern Border masters—Mao Shulang, Cheng Baishuang, and Ji Liuan—were about to arrive together at the suddenly sparsely populated market town south of the city.

Xu Fengnian had a horse prepared for him. After spending more than half an hour dealing with the military and political affairs that had accumulated on his desk overnight, he rode out of the city alone.

He wasn't specifically going to welcome the three Central Plains Grandmasters; Xu Fengnian primarily wanted to take a look at the market, for no particular reason.

Xu Fengnian rode to the small town, dismounted, and slowly led his horse forward. Taverns, teahouses, inns, and the scattered variety of shops had not sprouted legs to leave, but business was extremely sluggish. Some shops had simply closed for good, which was understandable; three to four thousand people had been withdrawn in just half a month, not to mention that many laborers involved in building the city had begun returning to their hometowns inside the Pass in batches, escorted by local troops. As Xu Fengnian walked along, he saw sleepy shop assistants yawning under eaves, enjoying their newfound leisure due to the sharp drop in business. He saw merchants anxiously shouting at their servants to move goods for their southward migration. He saw courtesans, unusually early risers, idly leaning on railings and gazing up at large red lanterns. He saw sturdy escorts, transporting rare items from Lingzhou, focused only on the safety of their consignment, completely ignoring the shopkeepers' worried expressions.

At the end of the street, Xu Fengnian suddenly saw an elderly Taoist priest pushing a cart southward. The man was bony and frail, with weak arms. On his three-wheeled cart, a linen banner soliciting business was slanted, meticulously inscribed from top to bottom with two lines of regular script: “Ziwei Doushu, Ba Gua Liu Yao, acceptable,” and “Face Reading, Palmistry, Qimen Dunjia, tolerable.” Xu Fengnian smiled knowingly; this fortune-teller was truly honest. Leading his horse, he quickened his pace and bent down to help push the cart.

The elderly man's faded Taoist robe looked out of place; Xu Fengnian had certainly never seen such a style during his travels through Liyang and Beiliang. This was not surprising, as Taoist temples and monasteries that obtained official permits from the imperial court had very particular styles of robes. Unauthorized fabrication and sale in the market, if discovered by county and prefectural authorities, carried severe penalties. The Taoist robe Xu Fengnian had rented when he first roamed the Jianghu was likewise of dubious origin and untraceable; even if the authorities had tracked him down, they would have struggled to press charges. This man before him clearly belonged to the same ilk as the once utterly destitute Young Prince.

The fortune-teller, who could barely be called a Taoist priest, squinted and said, “This young master must surely come from a wealthy family. If my humble prediction is correct, your forebears are powerful military scions outside the Pass.”

Xu Fengnian, seeing through the man's deduction, smiled and said, “Sir, you must have noticed that my mount, even with its reins loosened, follows its master, clearly a Beiliang warhorse. Coupled with the fact that a major war is imminent, and yet I dare to leisurely stroll here with a horse, you deduced that I am a military scion, correct?”

The fortune-teller's smile immediately became forced, and the air of mystical profundity he had managed to conjure up vanished, revealing his true nature.

Xu Fengnian remarked, “To be honest, in my younger years, I was much like you, Sir. To make a living, I also feigned supernatural abilities and set up a stall as a fortune-teller. You're a bit better off than I was back then; at least you have a tricycle.”

Xu Fengnian teased, “But frankly, your signboard truly stands out like a crane among chickens. Do you actually get any business?”

The old man burst into laughter. “Actually, it doesn't matter. My main source of income here is writing family letters for others, or selling small peace talismans folded from yellow paper, three coins each. Business is decent enough; when the Beiliang outsiders hadn't left yet, it was enough for me to have meat and wine twice a day. For ordinary folk like me, just common people, when we pray to Buddhas and worship gods and kowtow to Bodhisattvas, we always seek peace and stability first. Then we seek marriage and good fortune. Only last do we seek fame and wealth. Young master, isn't that just rough common sense?”

Xu Fengnian nodded softly, “The common people are just buying a sense of peace with three coins, and you, Sir, are doing a good deed.”

Seemingly recalling those joyful times of eating meat and drinking wine, the old man beamed, but then couldn't help but say indignantly, “If our Prince were more capable, my humble business would still be good for another month or two. Who would have thought the Northern Barbarians would attack Jubei City so early? I wasted all my hard-earned money setting up this trade; I've lost a fortune. This time, returning inside the Pass, life will be hard.”

Xu Fengnian laughed, “That Prince truly deserves to be scolded. What good is being a martial grandmaster? Utterly useless.”

Perhaps realizing that the young master beside him was, after all, a military scion deeply connected to the rise and fall of the Xu family of Beiliang—and understanding that in the jianghu, speaking too much is a sure way to err, and speaking intimately with someone you barely know is a major taboo—the old man quickly changed his tune, trying to smooth things over: “Well, one shouldn't speak that way. Our Prince isn't having an easy time either. To manage such a vast enterprise, his luck hasn't been too good. The Northern Barbarians attacked so quickly, not even giving him a chance to breathe. The Prince and the border army are still... still quite remarkable.”

The old man probably couldn't come up with anything more to say, growing increasingly awkward and constrained. His strength in pushing the cart also diminished slightly.

Xu Fengnian subtly increased the force he was applying, smiling, “Sir, what you just said sounds a bit insincere. Don't worry, although I am a military scion of Beiliang, I am open to hearing what others have to say. Good words or bad, I don't mind. Of course, hearing good words makes me happier.”

The old man and Xu Fengnian pushed the cart south together. They would soon cross a bridge over the river. The old man turned back, gazing deeply at the towering city wall, then suddenly stomped his foot and declared, “Some things are truly unbearable to keep inside! Even if you, young master, take me to Jubei City to be punished, this old man must speak his mind!”

Xu Fengnian gave a wry smile, “Alright then, I'm sure it won't be anything flattering. Please speak freely, Sir; I'll pretend I didn't hear a thing.”

The old man chuckled, straightened his back, turned north, and pointed towards Jubei City. “Young master,” he said, “recently I've heard many rumors, all saying our Prince is too daring. He ignores so many veteran generals and insists on using those mere children who haven't even grown their beards yet. How can such a battle be fought? Who won the first Liang-Mang War? Wasn't it General Liu Jinu of Hutou City in Liangzhou? Wasn't it General Wang Lingbao of the Dragon Elephant Army in Liuzhou? Wasn't it thanks to all those fallen officers from the three cities of Hulukou, Wogong, Heluan, and Xiaguang in Youzhou? Wasn't it thanks to our most formidable Beiliang Great Snow Dragon Cavalry and the two heavy cavalry units developed over many years? How many of these young outsiders are there? Perhaps Yu Luandao is barely one. If you ask me, even if Liuzhou won a few battles earlier, when it comes down to a real crisis, these young people simply aren't reliable!”

The old man turned to look at the young man's profile and asked, “Young master, what do you think?”

Xu Fengnian looked into the distance. “What you say has some truth, Old Sir,” he replied, “but the world is strange. Sometimes, things that appear reasonable are not necessarily truly reasonable.”

The old man's eyes widened. “Young master,” he exclaimed, “are you a scholar or a military scion? How is it that this old man can't understand what you're saying?”

Xu Fengnian sighed. “I'm not worthy of the title of scholar. But saying I'm a military scion should be correct; I grew up drinking the wind and sand, smelling horse manure, and listening to the beat of drums.”

After boldly expressing his thoughts, the old man seemed to feel much lighter. He unusually joked, “Besides not being very clear about profound principles, you're actually quite easy to talk to and quite reasonable, young master.”

Xu Fengnian said helplessly, “Old Sir, is that a compliment or an insult?”

The old man laughed heartily, “Young master, just pick the pleasant parts to hear, and you'll be perfectly fine.”

Xu Fengnian's mood also brightened a bit, the gloom between his brows gradually fading as he smiled knowingly, “I've learned something.”

The old man did not ask Xu Fengnian to help push the cart onto the ferry bridge. He pushed it south alone, muttering to himself in a low voice, “If the Great General were still alive, it would be wonderful. How would the Northern Barbarians dare to approach us? Beiliang wouldn't even have to fight. And what if we win battles now? So many people will still die. I heard there are three hundred thousand stone tablets behind Qingliang Mountain, all just for show. Being alive, surely that's better than just leaving a name behind after death, right?”

Xu Fengnian stood rooted to the spot, silent.

The old man certainly wouldn't have guessed the young man's identity, nor would he have imagined that a martial grandmaster would be helping him push his cart. So he continued to grumble incessantly: “If you ask me, since the Central Plains court is no good, instead of our Beiliang border soldiers dying outside the Pass without even gaining a good reputation, we should just open the gates and let the Northern Barbarians enter. As long as we agree beforehand that neither side clashes within or outside Beiliang Road, everything will surely be fine. Let those ungrateful Central Plains people suffer! We Beiliang common folk can live our peaceful lives, which would save us a lot of trouble and effort. It's just that I can't meet that young Prince; otherwise, I would definitely advise him not to act impulsively, to listen to an old man's advice, and not to foolishly try to be a hero.”

Xu Fengnian narrowed his eyes, tilted his head back, and the autumn wind ruffled the hair at his temples.

Perhaps it was unbearable suffering, perhaps a guilty conscience, or perhaps both; from beginning to end, the young Prince did not utter a single word.

On the south side of the bridge, the old man pushing the cart walked further and further away.

Xu Fengnian seemed to recall something and called out loudly, “Old Sir, no need to rush south! And don't forget that within twenty days, the three post roads from Jubei City to Liangzhou Pass will be open to all common people, so there's no need to take a long detour!”

The elderly fortune-teller indeed seemed to have heard the shout; he paused briefly, presumably to signal to the young man that he understood, and then continued southward.

After the Prince's residence was completed, the study received daily secret intelligence reports from both inside and outside the Pass, from both Fushui House and Yangying House. Beiliang intelligence had always been categorized into three grades based on urgency: only Grade A reports were originally qualified to be sent to the study's desk. However, the young Prince requested one more grade—not Grade B, the second-lowest, but Grade C, the lowest. These reports held little military or political significance; they were simply used by the new King of Liang to alleviate his stress. Although both departments undoubtedly performed some level of filtering, it was impossible to send absolutely everything to the Prince's study. Nevertheless, the volume remained substantial, often concerning the situation in academies inside the Pass or the opinions of scholars. The content was diverse, and among them were not a few extremist remarks from young scholars, which the young Prince merely browsed without annotating in red.

Among these was one comment that the young Prince personally transcribed to serve as a daily self-reflection upon opening his books.

“Of meager virtue yet holding high office, of limited wisdom yet planning grand schemes, of small strength yet burdened with heavy responsibilities—such an incompetent Prince ruling the borderlands means the Beiliang border army is doomed to fail!”

Vast armies pressing in, his father's dying wish, a harsh homeland, the imperial court's restraints, the beautiful Central Plains, innocent common people, the Way of Heaven bearing down.

All were heavy burdens, layered one upon another.

On the north side of the bridge, the young man, who had actually reached adulthood and received his courtesy name less than four years ago, slowly crouched down by the riverbank. He dusted off a piece of licorice root and gently chewed it in his mouth.

His mouth filled with sweetness.