Chapter 107: About Xiaochan, About Love

Volume 2: The Pool of Secret Strife - Regarding Xiao Chan and Love by Yan Yun Xiaoxiao

Honestly, the plot developments involving Xiao Chan made me quite uncomfortable. This wasn't due to the author (Banana)'s plot arrangement, but rather because of the "human nature" revealed in these events.

During the year or so since Ning Yi's reincarnation, the person he spent the most time with and spoke to the most was not Su Tan or Nie Yunzhu, but this innocent and lovely Xiao Chan. She would listen to Ning Yi's stories with wide eyes, tug at his sleeve saying, "Master Ning!", and tear up at a single word from him.

This joyful yet often melancholic Xiao Chan existed more as a younger sister in Ning Yi's heart. Thus, when she was mischievous, he would playfully rub her cheeks with both hands, and gently pat her back to comfort her when she cried.

However, Xiao Chan did not hold an indispensable place in Ning Yi's heart. Their paths crossed solely due to Su Tan's presence. She might have been a lighthearted embellishment in Ning Yi's life, but when Ning Yi acted with a real purpose, she would be deliberately overlooked. For instance, the second time Ning Yi sought out Lu Hongti, he instructed Xiao Chan to stay at home.

Xiao Chan's feelings for Ning Yi, however, were far more complex—though in her innocence, she herself didn't realize this complexity. Initially, she felt only curiosity and the reverence born from his status. But over their prolonged interactions, her role and mindset gradually shifted.

Ning Yi's soul was that of a modern man; even after years in high positions, he maintained respect and equality towards everyone around him. It was precisely this respect and equality, so different from other ancient men, that captivated Nie Yunzhu and reduced Xiao Chan's sense of distance from him. When Xiao Chan could freely express her emotions in front of Ning Yi, she gained a sense of security and dependence that she didn't even have with her own mistress. Ning Yi's frequent affectionate yet quirky actions also filled her heart with both fondness and delight.

There were many reasons Xiao Chan grew to like Ning Yi. For instance, he was gentle, handsome, talented, and calm in the face of trouble. He was also knowledgeable and told captivating martial arts stories. However, the most significant reason was likely the gradual, day-to-day equal treatment, devoid of status hierarchy. This subtle transformation in her perceived status turned her from a mere maid into a girl, and then from a girl into a younger sister.

What is love? Everyone has their own answer. Xiao Chan's answer was the inexplicable joy and warmth she felt when interacting with her master. For the simple Xiao Chan, this was enough. In that era, there was no concept of love at first sight; only prolonged, happy companionship could lead to a feeling of deep affection.

But happiness and simplicity would eventually be shattered.

At this point, the clever Su Tan noticed the shift in Xiao Chan's status and feelings towards Ning Yi—though she herself actually enjoyed this sense of equality and gentle happiness. Therefore, she decided to make Xiao Chan her personal chamber maid. You see, Su Tan's sense of hierarchy was deeply ingrained. Even if she felt a sisterly bond with Xiao Chan, it only went so far. This was the best she could do; at least she believed she was providing Xiao Chan with lifelong happiness. Mistakenly, she lacked Nie Yunzhu's transcendental view of equality.

What she didn't realize was that this very decision stifled the delicate emotions in Xiao Chan's heart, turning Xiao Chan's feelings for Ning Yi into a burden.

The man who had inexplicably stirred her heart was now to become her destiny, while she herself would be merely an appendage. How could such a humble and subservient emotion be a healthy form of love!

At this point, though Xiao Chan outwardly remained the simple, cheerful girl, she now desperately wanted to fulfill her duty: to serve her mistress by sharing the master's bed first.

Thus, when she returned home to honor her father, away from the Su household and her mistress whom she both revered and depended on, Xiao Chan's delicate feelings for her master fermented into traditional subservience.

She said to Ning Yi, "Ma... Master Ning, can Xiao Chan sleep here tonight?"

And Ning Yi, who had always seen Xiao Chan merely as a younger sister, now recognized his own status. He was a man in this ancient era, and this lovely maid was about to become his personal chamber maid. Though he felt aversion and resistance towards this arrangement, he would not push Xiao Chan away—he had already experienced situations like this in his previous life, where emotions were disregarded and decisions made calmly, even numbly, based on benefit and status.

He was silent for a moment, then smiled and said, "It's a matter for a lifetime."

This remark was a satire of the era.

As a man, he naturally had the typical reactions and psychology of any man. However, since arriving in this era, he had constantly avoided being assimilated by this rigidly hierarchical world. He had always strived to maintain equal and mutually respectful interactions with everyone. If Xiao Chan had shown fear at that moment, he would have unhesitatingly let her sleep alone; his powerful self-control from his previous life would have ensured it. But he also recognized his status at that moment, and he knew that once he had relations with Xiao Chan, the lighthearted and simple joy between them would vanish completely.

Although Xiao Chan did not hold a significant place in his heart, he still cared for her.

Xiao Chan's priority, however, was to fulfill her duty, which was more important than anything else. She whispered, "Master Ning is a good man."

Thus, the subsequent events unfolded naturally, leading to an inevitable outcome. Xiao Chan "resolved" Ning Yi's "physiological needs." Ning Yi could only regard this as a responsibility, a small one—don't blame me for describing this emotion too cruelly. In his previous life, Ning Yi had certainly experienced many women's "devotion," though their motives were not as pure and simple as Xiao Chan's.

Thus, the protagonist's lack of emotional attachment to Xiao Chan, yet his acquiescence to her "devotion," which bothered reader Zhou Yao, was a product of this grand era and the various facets of "human nature." While Banana's plot arrangement certainly caters to readers' desire for "loli conquest," it also reflects his contemplation of "human nature."

In the future, Ning Yi will encounter more women and have similar interactions with them. Most readers who enjoy the book will find this satisfying, while sensitive readers, like Zhou Yao, can only experience the complexity of human nature through these emotions and actions.

Alright, I'll stop here. In fact, if one delves deeper, there's much more to ponder and discuss. However, everyone's understanding of love and their views on it differ, and love itself is ethereal. Ultimately, after much contemplation, one can only sigh and lament that humans, as a species, are too complex in their emotions and too strange in their behavior.

These are just some humble thoughts. Please feel free to offer criticism and corrections.