Chapter 210: 喜欢

Waking up in the early morning, the sky outside was still dark. A painted boat glided past on the river outside the small building, its lights dim. At this hour, the people on the boat should have been asleep, but listening closely, faint music still drifted from it. Who could still be playing the qin at such a time?

"Phoenix trees, midnight rain, it speaks of parting sorrow... This is the tune of 'Geng Lou Zi.' Whose boat is that?" There was little light in the room. Nie Yunzhu, already awake, saw the flickering light through the window lattice. Dressed in her pale, moon-white nightclothes, she was about to sit up when her bedmate embraced her, pulling her back down with a soft thud. Jin'er snuggled against her shoulder, burrowing like a sleepy piglet.

"Ugh, not sleeping in the middle of the night, disturbing a person's good dream..."

"It's almost dawn," Yunzhu replied.

"If you don't sleep even when it's light, you'll definitely be napping all day," Jin'er mumbled, yawning widely, her eyes still closed. A moment later, she added, "Phoenix trees, midnight rain—that clearly speaks of autumn. It's just 'feigning sorrow to write new verses'..." Yunzhu chuckled from beneath the covers. "They're talking about the sorrow of parting, but you insist on talking about the season... Perhaps someone important has left."

"Sister Yunzhu, you're the one concerned about parting sorrow lately..."

"That's precisely why I need to seize every opportunity to be with him."

"Seriously, you have no shame," Jin'er grumbled. "Sister Yunzhu, have you really thought this through? He already has a wife. It's truly... not going to work." Similar words had been exchanged many times over the past few months. Yunzhu's attitude remained firm. Although Jin'er didn't voice her objections much these days, she physically placed herself between Yunzhu and Ning Yi, preventing them from making much progress. Yet, truthfully, even without much progress, the two seemed content to simply enjoy their time together, finding satisfaction in playing the qin, singing, and gathering.

Jin'er understood Sister Yunzhu's temperament. However, she also clearly knew that in the past, no matter how dashing or liberal a man was, once he won a woman's affection, his only thought was to enter her chamber and claim her purity. After so many years in the Jin Feng Brothel, Jin'er had seen it all. Ning Yi's ability to remain unmoved by such conventional desires genuinely impressed her.

These past few days, word had it that Ning Yi would be traveling to Suzhou and Hangzhou with his wife after summer, likely staying for several months. Realizing that their opportunities to meet were limited, Yunzhu cherished each encounter even more. Witnessing this, Jin'er grew increasingly distressed. Women of their standing could not become the official wives of prominent men; if that was fate, they accepted it. But with Ning Yi, it seemed even becoming a concubine was difficult—that was simply too much.

As a friend, an adversary, or even as a patron during her time at Jin Feng Brothel, Jin'er would, in all fairness, admire a man like Ning Yi. But regarding this particular matter, her rationality told her it would be better for Sister Yunzhu and Ning Yi to part ways, otherwise, much sorrow awaited them. And so, in the early hours of this morning, she couldn't help but bring up the issue once more.

Yunzhu smiled. "It's already quite good in life to find a man one can entrust oneself to."

"How can you entrust yourself if you can never marry him? Just live as an unofficial mistress, supported by him?"

"...Jin'er, let me tell you," Yunzhu began after a moment of thought, then added, "Don't laugh at me, okay?"

"Okay."

"I had been thinking about it for a while," Yunzhu continued, "but then one day, I imagined that when I'm sixty, an old woman, I'll still be able to get up early. And before dawn, he'll come strolling over from that side, and I'll be waiting for him here. That would also be a wonderful thing."

Jin'er fell silent.

Yunzhu explained, "I knew you'd laugh, Jin'er, that's why I never said it... Sometimes I also think that perhaps he comes to talk to me every day because I'm still beautiful. He might not consciously think that way, but it's an undeniable factor, isn't it? Some scholars and talented men don't write poetry and lyrics solely to show off in front of women, but it's certainly more interesting to do so in front of a beautiful woman than an old granny." Yunzhu chuckled. "Perhaps decades from now, he won't enjoy listening to me anymore because I'll have nothing interesting to say. But most of the time, I'm still willing to believe him. He talks to me not just because I'm pretty. Jin'er, I always feel that if a woman is liked only because she's beautiful, then when she's no longer beautiful, being disliked would be only natural, wouldn't it? There must be something else. Just like when Liheng quarrels with you, it's not necessarily because he finds you pretty, but because he finds you interesting. I probably have other qualities that make me likable too."

"Of course you do!" Jin'er asserted. "But Sister Yunzhu, you don't need to drag me into this. I, for one, find him utterly uninteresting. That rotten man!"

"If we can have ten years, the accumulated feelings will naturally extend to twenty, then thirty, forty years. Perhaps him passing by here every day and speaking with me will become something he can't let go of. Jin'er, I feel that since I have some confidence, and I know Liheng is different from others, I can probably have some faith going forward. If even that doesn't work... then I can only say I'm fated to suffer. But since I only ever wanted to give myself to him, what else can I do?"

Jin'er was silent for a long moment, then hugged Yunzhu tighter. As they were both women, sleeping and cuddling together was commonplace. Yet, this particular embrace felt slightly different, though Yunzhu couldn't quite discern what that difference was. After a moment, Jin'er mumbled, "Then give him to me..."

"Heh, Jin'er, you'll also meet a man you want to entrust yourself to someday."

"No! I want to stay with Sister Yunzhu. If that Ning Yi ever turns out to be a heartless man, we'll just become two old grannies together."

"I certainly don't want to be heartbroken. And Jin'er, you just haven't met anyone you truly like yet."

"I have, though."

"Oh?"

"I told you before, Sister Yunzhu. A few years ago, there was a boy from Bianjing. He was so beautiful, almost like a girl, but I'm sure he wasn't a girl. Yes, I liked him back then... But I still want to stay with you, Sister Yunzhu."

Yunzhu narrowed her eyes playfully. "I'm deeply touched."

"Ugh, Sister Yunzhu, the way you talk now sounds just like that detestable Ning Yi. But I won't let you two be together..."

***

As on previous days, after chatting in bed for a while, Yunzhu got up first. The living room was already lit. Kou'er, Jin'er's maid, had adapted to her mistresses' routines and risen even earlier, having hot water ready for Yunzhu to wash her face.

Dressed in her usual simple attire, and having tidied herself slightly, Yunzhu blew out the lamp and went to the living room. While waiting for Ning Yi to arrive, she would brew a pot of tea, perhaps reading a book or studying a musical score. As she had said, her appealing qualities were not merely her beauty.

In the past, in the brothel, she delved into various things to make all kinds of people like her. Now, her pursuits aimed at pleasing not many, but one person. Although Sister Yunzhu had these solitary hobbies even before Ning Yi appeared, now, beyond her personal interests, she was undoubtedly contemplating more about what Ning Yi truly liked. It might not be called calculating, but Jin'er knew that Sister Yunzhu cared that much about him.

The young girl lay wrapped in the warmth of the covers, feeling utterly cozy. This warmth came from the bedding and from Sister Yunzhu's lingering body heat, but also emotionally, from Sister Yunzhu's words just now. She felt both her body and mind completely relaxed, yet she couldn't fall back asleep.

She realized she was in love with Sister Yunzhu.

She had always liked her. Sister Yunzhu was formidable; even before she opened her own establishment at the Jin Feng Brothel, Jin'er had already found her to be incredibly capable. To cut ties with the past and remove her name from the registry without hesitation—Sister Yunzhu truly was remarkable. Later, she followed Sister Yunzhu to sell preserved eggs, partly because selling preserved eggs was profitable. Jin'er wasn't as strong-willed; she always had to consider practicalities. But Sister Yunzhu was formidable; even though Mama Yang and others called her strange, Jin'er felt she was like the sun. If she could follow her, perhaps she too could become equally capable, reaching incredible heights.

There was no doubt she had always liked Sister Yunzhu. But after Sister Yunzhu spoke those words, Jin'er felt her affection deepen. It was a different kind of liking than before, more personal and intimate. Listening to her speak of her affection for another man, Jin'er surprisingly felt a warmth spread through her. She ought to have been angry at Yunzhu's perceived lack of self-respect, yet at that moment, she only felt a stronger affection.

She couldn't fully comprehend this feeling yet, but enveloped in this warmth, she had made a decision. There was no destined outcome between Sister Yunzhu and that scoundrel Ning Yi, but even if that was the case, it didn't matter. She would simply give her own feelings to Yunzhu.

Outside, Yunzhu was unaware of Jin'er's decision inside the room. Estimating the time, she figured Ning Yi might be awake. She sat on the steps for a while, her pale, moon-white dress looking elegant in the warm lamplight. Her long skirt covered her embroidered shoes. From time to time, she would gaze down the road, appearing from afar like a banished immortal descending to the mortal world. Since meeting Ning Yi and seeing him daily, her attire remained in her usual style, but she actually put more thought into her appearance than before. The changes weren't drastic, but she was simply more attentive. Without realizing it, something cool dripped onto the back of her hand. She raised her hand to look, then lifted her head. "It's raining..." Fine strands of rain fell from the sky. Around the Qingming Festival, it was naturally a season of persistent rain, so it wasn't particularly strange. However, with summer just a month away, a morning lost to rain meant one fewer chance to meet Ning Yi. Thinking this, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

Soon after, Jin'er also rose. Seeing the falling rain outside the door, she too looked a little regretful. "Hmm? So that guy can't come today, huh... I actually had some things to tell him." Spring rains often lasted a long time. Fortunately, this rain stopped by the afternoon. The next morning, Jin'er got out of bed with Yunzhu, ready to talk to Ning Yi when he arrived. Of course, in her view, this would be a negotiation.